Emotions are some of the most complicated yet fascinating aspects of our existence. But perhaps, what we witness and understand is but a surface of the vast ocean. If you’re true to your feelings, you master one of the best natural ways to manage anxiety and stress, become a better person in your relationships, and discover the full palette of life. It’s a skill — and here’s how you can develop it.
The Emotional Variety
This ability to recognize and experience your emotions without judgment and know what you feel exactly depends on several different capabilities. All of these are competencies that you can learn after a quick Liven app review and by trying out its various practices to cultivate them.
- Emotional literacy. This is the ability to name your feelings and give them a name.
- Emotional awareness. This skill is about noticing emotions as they arise and observing them without avoidance or ignoring them.
- Emotional acceptance. Instead of hiding from an emotion, you allow it to exist in your body without self-criticism.
While there are many other talents that define a person with outstanding emotional intelligence, let’s focus on these. Even emotional literacy may feel foreign to a few people who aren’t used to hearing what their heart says.
Hit the Pause Button
Here’s a simple thing that most of us don’t think of. We usually jump to just naming or ignoring our feelings as we register them, right? Well, let’s reverse the situation. Trying to analyze emotions too soon can short-circuit the experience itself.
Close your eyes and simply… feel. Every prickling on your skin, every moment your breathing comes ragged, every time your muscles grow tense. Sit with it through several deep breaths.
Then, try to name it without analyzing:
“I feel… tense. Irritated. A little sad.”
You don’t need strict limitations to let in the feeling. Not everything exists within these restrictions.
Tune In to Your Body
Your body is the real lie detector. Even if you try to trick yourself into believing that you are happy when you’re not, your physical sensations will call you out on it. Ever felt a painful discomfort even as you were smiling, not sure why you were miserable? Yep, that was it. Now, do this simple exercise once a day to settle this practice into your body.
Lie down on the floor or the bed — wherever feels comfortable. Close your eyes and start breathing slowly. Breathe the air into your lungs. In and out. Then, begin scanning your feelings from your toes to the top of your head. Ask yourself: Where do I feel discomfort, tension, or energy? Pause as you listen to this feeling.
What are the emotions that can be stored in each of these sensations? Anxiety, joy, sadness?
This exercise will help you feel the connection between your head and your body. This, in turn, is a skill that you can transfer to quick check-ins during the day.
Emotion Wheel to Save the Day
Not everyone knows how to name their emotions. Most of us, when asked about our mood, tell we’re feeling good, bad, or “whatever.” This doesn’t allow us to build self-awareness and have a nuanced understanding of our feelings. The Emotion Wheel is an excellent instrument to rectify that.
There are many resources online where you can find the Emotion Wheel, such as Idaho State University. You can draw the wheel in your journal or simply have it screenshotted, merely to have a general reference point. For just a week, check in and find the closest word for what you’re feeling. With a more precise vocabulary, you become much more informed about what is going on in your mind on a larger scale.
Journal, Your Silent Friend
Making journaling a habit isn’t easy, and many people give up on this activity after a few days or weeks. However, journaling is a tool praised by therapists and coaches as a channel for self-reflection. Focus on processing the feelings, not performing for the sake of it or, worse yet, making it a perfect thing you can post on Pinterest.
We look at our journals or diaries with messy writing and mistakes in the middle of a deep sentence and lose interest. Of course, they don’t look like those pictures on social media. But they shouldn’t be. Instead of journaling to document your day like it’s an obligation to report stuff, use it to digest your emotional experience. Don’t think before putting words on paper. Use such starters as “Right now, I notice…” or “Part of me feels…” And if you realize you’re not feeling that emotion mid-sentence? Write this down: “No, that’s not right. I feel…” and so on.
Trust the Reflective Self-Talk
How you talk to yourself significantly impacts your attitude toward your emotions. Be honest: do you stop yourself from feeling an uncomfortable emotion, or try to tell yourself “There’s no use feeling this”? Or perhaps you tend to criticize yourself? If that’s the case, you need to transform how you reflect on your moods and respond to them.
Write down, if you need, or put it as a poster:
“I am curious about what I am feeling. I am complex. It’s interesting to see where I’m going.”
The next time you’re thinking “I am too dramatic” or “It’s stupid to be so pessimistic,” think something like:
- “I’m going through so much. No wonder I’m steaming.”
- “After so much trouble, it’s honestly not surprising that I’m stressed.”
Validate yourself. It’s the thing that you deserve — this self-trust.
Conclusion
Recognizing and experiencing your emotions comes from emotional literacy, emotional awareness, and emotional acceptance. We are used to ignoring our feelings for our entire lives, but we can relearn our approaches. Stay kind and self-compassionate, and you will notice your emotions blooming and, under your warm attention, turn into beautiful gardens where they can thrive.
